Europe is no place for "yesterday's men"

Next week I have to go to Paris to pick up my grandson to bring him home for a few days. I have been instructed (?) to take him to the cinema. I haven’t been to a cinema in Orléans in more than 30 years. In fact apart from taking said grandson to a film in Paris last year I just don’t go to the cinema. The film in Paris was Peter Pan. Not of course the Peter Pan of the pantomimes of my youth way back in those days of innocence in the 1940’s. Oh no. Some new version totally unsuitable for even a modern hard boiled youth. Far too much violence.

Anyway I set about finding a cinema in Orléans. All the old ones have closed down. There’s a new one near the old market on the banks of the Loire. A bus ride, a tram ride and then a walk. No problem except one will have to time things not to be either too late or early; and of course to hope it doesn’t rain.

So I do a test run and arrive at the cinema to find a mass of people but no information desk. I wish to enquire about what films are on, the hours, the prices etc. All in a calm orderly manner. Well nobody has time to deal with me. The information is posted here and there but no advice if I should buy a ticket in advance or anything that might be useful to avoid having an angry young boy on one’s hands because one got the planning wrong.

I simply loathe going to Paris anyway. I was there about 10 days ago and had to stay overnight. At the end of dinner I noticed the cat was missing. I had been warned not to let her out if I opened the front door. I remember a mother coming round to pick her son up, my grandson’s friend, and the entrance hall had been dark with the door open.

I then spent 4 hours searching for the cat to no avail and finally went to bed at midnight but couldn’t sleep. No cat meant mice and my entire fault etc.

 I heard my son get in about 2.30 and a few minutes later the cat came in my room, sniffed me and went out again. In the morning I was informed that when my grandson and friend made too much noise playing the cat would get in a huff and go and hide in a cupboard.

Now what are today’s presidential candidates doing about improving the lot of aged grandparents without whom modern families cannot function thanks to said politicians screwing up family values and who now say we can’t even spank the little blighters. Not the cat of course.

Please don’t ask what I’d like to do to the politicians.

I hear it’s even worse in the UK. Europe is no place for “yesterday’s men”.